Q What’s your favourite cake or pudding?
A Without a doubt, banoffee pie. This answer has not changed in 5 years.
Q Where are you from?
A South Shields, Tyne and Wear.
Q When are you next coming to *insert place name*?
A My next tour is on sale via the tour dates page and starts September 2013. I try to cover as much of the UK as I can so hopefully I’m coming to a place near you.
Q Is this tour the same jokes as when I saw you?
A The trick to these is every different show has a different title. My first tour and DVD were called Chatterbox. My second, Thoroughly Modern Millican. So check out the name and then you’ll know if you’ve seen it or not. Each show has totally different jokes.
Q Why do tickets sometimes sell out so quickly?
A Because the people on the mailing list have priority. Get on it, you big silly.
Q Any plans to come to the US/Canada/Australia?
A None at the moment (I was in Brisbane, Adelaide and Melbourne earlier this year so thanks if you came to one of those shows) but if that changes, I’ll let you know.
Q You’ll ring me?
A Nope but if you pop your email address in the box on the Homepage, I’ll be able to email you with news plus you’ll be able to buy tour tickets early.
Q How old do I have to be to come to your tour show/Can I bring a child to our tour show?
A 16+ in most venues though some specify 18 so check with each venue/Sadly not as it’s an adult show for adults. I am very rude. Filth wise. I’m always polite.
Q Have you got any DVDs out?
A Yes. Two. Chatterbox and Thoroughly Modern Millican.
Q Are you making another series of your TV show?
A Yes, we are. The third series will be filmed in Salford in June. It’ll go out on BBC2 later this year.
Q How can I apply to be in the audience of your TV show?
A You need to get on my mailing list via the homepage. I’ll send out information on how to apply for the free tickets to be in the audience.
Q Why do you always mention your mailing list?
A Because it’s an awesome place to be. Folk who are on it get to buy supercheap tickets for my new material nights ‘Sarah Millican and Friends’ which pop up all over the place and are great fun. They also get to buy tour tickets before everyone else and get to apply to be in the TV show audience. And I usually mention food in my mailouts too.
Q Would you like to come round to mine for your tea?
A However lovely that sounds, you’re a stranger so I can’t. More cake for you, hooray!
Q Will you be making any more series of your radio 4 show Sarah Millican’s Support Group?
A There are no plans at the moment but I am working on another series for BBC Radio 4. Click on the Radio page for more info.
Q I used to bully you at school, can we be friends now (that you’re on the telly)?
Q Why aren’t women funny?
A Get the fuck off my website.
Q Why are you such a fat ugly bitch?
Q How did you start in comedy?
A I got divorced. I had days when I felt like I could do nothing and then days when I felt like I could do anything. On one of the latter days, I did a workshop for people who had written but never performed. As part of that workshop, I read a monologue to an audience. Six months later, I decided to try stand up.
Q How do I become a comedian?
You have to just do it. Write some jokes and find an open mic night to try them out. There is some great advice for new comics here:
And Jo Caulfield has a brilliant section on her website called “Things I’ve learned as a comedian”.
Also, Stuart Goldsmith’s Comedian’s Comedian Podcasts are brilliant and free. DO IT. On writing, my particular favourite guests are Dan Evans and Adam Bloom.
And good luck.
Q What have you done with your hair? I like it.
A Aww you guys. *beams*