11th Sept 2009
I am feeling blog guilty so thought I’d rattle a quick one off.
Big news is that America’s Next Top Model starts again on Monday.
Medium sized news is that I am doing some telly next week and so have had my hair cut and will be tweezing my beard up until the moment the cameras roll.
I am going to a wedding tomorrow and I’m mostly looking forward to sober dancing with Charlie.
I’ve just got back from 4 days away in the middle of nowhere with my parents, sister and G. We had a lovely time. Clearly, to my parents, I will always be ‘the bairn’ though. I had a touch of constipation for a few days and when I eventually went, my parents cheered. I miss the days when your biggest achievement was shitting in the right place.
I tried a One Size dress on in Top Shop today and it wouldn’t go over my head. Conclusion: My head is too fat for Top Shop. I tried 6 dresses on and felt fat and unattractive and abnormal. Then went into Marksies where I was a size 14 ie: normal and lovely.
I think drug dealers should stock a wider range. You can keep your heroin and cocaine. Get me some Trimethoprim that’ll clear up any bladder infection in 48 hours and I’ll be impressed.
I bought baby clothes for a friend who has just had a baby. I bought some tiny jeans for me. I do not want kids. People think I am in denial. Do you know how hard it is to convince people you’re not in denial.
And finally, I can’t tell city centre, pretty girls apart. It’s a bit like being a racist. In that I think all city centre, pretty girls all look the same. And I want them to go home. Of course some of my best friends are city centre, pretty girls. No, they’re not. My friends have all read books.
Laters.